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New thoughts:

No one has yet fully realized the wealth of sympathy, kindness, and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure- Emma Golmam

"They may forget what you said, But they will never forget how you made them feel."

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless. ~ Mother Teresa

The work can wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work. ~ Patricia Clafford

“Be an opener of doors for such as come after thee.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (see picture below! :)

New Musings on Teaching...

"Some of us are called to be teachers. We really did not have a choice. There are many ways to be a teacher..." - Bob Sorenson, Ph.D. "Creating Classrooms Where Teachers Love to Teach and Students Love to Learn" (isn't that truly the goal anyway?? :)

This statement intrigued me...I so often wonder, have I truly been called, or is it something that I just decided one day? I've been musing recently about this whole world of teaching, and what I've chosen to do with my life. Sometimes I'm not sure, sometimes I think it's perfect. But I've always had this deep rooted feeling, in someplace deep: some people call it your core, others your heart, your soul, I don't really know which it is...but I just don't "buy into" what these other people are doing sometimes. I've always had a hard time with the idea of rewarding kids for something that you expect them to do, like sitting in their chairs, etc.

There's always just been this piece of me that has really had a hard time with this. Point systems seem to do little, I've even often wondered what the point of the flip card charts are...which is something that everyone does, but I just have a hard time understanding what the point is.

All this to say that the counselor from Crater Elementary that used to be at Mabel Rush, emailed all of us to see if we wanted to take the Love and Logic course that she was teaching for free. I'm not really much of a joiner most of the time, but I've heard a lot about this, most specifically just by watching. Some people I know from college have the most well behaved children, not because they are perfect but because a high and loving standard are set for them. I've often asked what is it that makes these kids so fabulous and I've been answered with "we've been using Love and Logic, it really seems to work for them..." Enough said! So I thought, hey, why not? It's free right??

This course is blowing my mind, and making me laugh a lot! Turns out my parents are even more wonderful than I thought they were. They totally resonate with my gut feelings regardless of the program. I'm not saying by any means that this is the end all be all of everything, but I'm quite impressed by the theories. They seem sane to me and logical, and more than that, they feel right to me.

It's all about respecting the child, not getting into power struggles with them, loving them, trying to give them empathy, allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them now before the mistakes that they make have far graver consequences...it all seems so obvious. And it's the little things. Greeting your students at the door, leaving them at the door. Giving them hugs, dialoging with them, telling them that the next day will be better, etc. I've always striven to leave my kids at the door, but it never occurred to me to greet them at the door...I did it today and I can't tell you what a wonderful air it set over the classroom. So simple, who would have guessed.

I'm encouraged, enthused and rejuvenated. It was a release to be excused from getting angry. To be told not to get angry, to be excused from having an answer at the drop of a hat, and always having to have the right response right away. I'm refreshed that there are consequences available that make sense for the mistake, instead of arbitrary punishment...whose bright idea was it to hold kids in during recess? Really?? The kids that you're taking it away from are the ones who need it the most anyway! And humiliating kids in the middle of their classroom, there's a genius idea for breeding mutual respect and a free flow of ideas.

So with all this said, I'm excited...thank you Mom and Dad for giving me a foundation where things didn't "feel" right to me. You obviously set the stage for me to not be an overbearing tyrant, and to see the humor in the silliness of children, to love them through their mistakes and to take joy in their daily triumphs, be it learning to keep their hands out of their desks, reading sight words, or simply learning that they are smart and worth every effort that I have.

Thoughts in Autumn

"A glorious October, all red and gold, with mellow mornings when the valleys were filled with delicate mists as if the spirit of autumn had poured them in for the sun to grain- amethyst, pearl, silver, rose and smoke-blue. The dews were so heavy that the fields glistened like cloth of silver and there were such heaps of rustling leaves in the hallows of many-stemmed woods to run crisply through. The Birch Path was a canopy of yellow and the ferns were sear and brown and all along it. There was a tang in the very air that inspired the hearts of small maidens tripping, unlike snails, swiftly and willingly to school." - L.M. Montgomery- "Anne of Green Gables"

I find something magical about Lucy Maud Montgomery. When I read her stories I feel like they are speaking to my soul. I know that sounds very strange, but I feel my heart catch in my throat when I read her descriptions. I want to live in her world where everything looks like this. I want to be Miss Stacy and love Anne and be friends with her. I want to have known Matthew and hug Marilla even though she comes off as prickly. Even more than that I would love to be loved by Gilbert, someone who loves Anne to the depth and core of who she is. What a magical story. No matter how many times I read it I am entranced by the words. That is the kind of author and woman I long to be...like Anne, who's world is always full of life. Even when she is in the "depth of despair" there is always hope, and a sense that she knows who she is and is willing to accept that, even if others do not. Where does that confidence come from? And how can you get it?

I guess I come from the generation that thinks that a class or book or forum will magically change my attitude on things. It's a quick fix that we're all looking for, something that I can purchase and suddenly be Anne. Can't you purchase her fragrance somewhere and then be suddenly be her?? Taking life slowly and being content seems like an easy thing to do, and something that I can tackle and handle when I'm sitting here in The Cottage listening to big band music and sipping a soy latte...but in the middle of class tomorrow, and at night when I haven't finished what I need to finish, and as people around me are purchasing new cars and houses, it's harder to be content....I know that there's an answer to this question, but I don't know how to utilize that or even begin to tap into that power/answer. There wasn't a class for that at Fox. I find the older I get that I actually have no idea who I am. I have fleeting inklings that linger and whisper into my ear of who I want to be, and what kind of woman I want to be, but nothing tangible. And just when I think I've mastered something, a curve ball comes in and I suddenly act and react like I'm 12...and it's back to the drawing board. I marvel at women I know who seem to be so comfortable in their skin. I feel like I"m getting closer, but then I look at Zoe, who is 16, and already at home in her body and mind. What a remarkable thing to know who you are at 16 and to have the courage not to change based on those around you. If only she could teach a class!

There are so many things that I want to do, and so many things that I want to be involved in, and yet so much that I don't do because I am afraid or I feel like I can't. Is it possible to feel isolated in an unlonely way? I am surrounded by a fabulous support system, yet I often feel so isolated, not lonely, just kind of out there...when does that change? Or am I asking too much for that to be something that changes?

Life is a funny thing! I don't think I will ever grasp the parts that I need to. Yet I find many pieces to this puzzle in Anne of Green Gables. Anne and L.M. are increasingly wise I think:

"The trouble with you Anne, is that you're thinking too much about yourself!" -Marilla
"Do you never imagine things different from what they really are?" asked Anne wide-eyed. "No." "Oh!" Anne drew a long breath, "Oh Marilla, how much you miss!" - Anne

And I close with this thought from the all wise Anne, as I ponder this for myself as well, Anne you are wise beyond your years, may you continue to touch the hearts of readers:
"Somehow," she told Dianna, "when I'm going through here I don't really care whether Gil- whether anybody gets ahead of me in class or not. But when I'm up in school it's all different and I care as much as ever. There's such a lot of different Anne's in me. I sometime think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If i was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, then then it wouldn't be half so interesting."
- Anne (with an e)

The perefect kind of beginning...

Waking up to an alarm, not because I have somewhere to be right at 7:45, but because I'd like to leisurely wake up and have part of my day left. Sleeping past the alarm, and deciding to get up when I want to get up because it's time and I'm not exhausted anymore. :)

The whole apartment is quiet, not sure where my roommate went, but the silence is lovely on a morning that I just feel like being by myself. I blast the music, Ingrid Michaelson of course, very fallish, and get ready...doing what I normally do, but for some reason it takes me 45 minutes today instead of 15, probably just because I can!

Bundle up on my way out the door, because someone obviously didn't get the memo that it's October, not November...but at least the sun is out...and the best part of my morning so far? Grabbing my antique Anne of Green Gables book, a 1908 copy to read leisurely at the Coffee Cottage where I am headed. And yes later I will end up in my classroom for a bit, if for no other reason than it would be nice to be ready on Monday...but for now, I'm headed to relax and just be.

Driving around Yamhill county in the fall is pretty much one of the most beautiful things. The grapes (which are everywhere, I apparently moved to wine country, which is great as I've discovered a great affinity for wine) cascade over the hills, and their leaves are just starting to turn. I didn't believe that there was anything more beautiful than the leaves changing, but grape vine leaves, when they switch over for the season, are a sight to behold. Yellows and oranges, and depending on the variety, sometimes red flood over the rolling hills...beautiful! The trees are all starting to change, but there's enough green to make it still a novelty, and the air is crisp and the sky is blue and it's just a beautiful day.

Arriving at The Cottage I see people I've met through Fox and teaching in this district for the last 3 years...including student teaching...and I am recommended plum baked french toast, which I decline politely for something that I've had my eye on for awhile...a yogurt pancake. I order my coffee, chat with a couple of people in the front while I wait and then settle in at a table by the window, right next to my favorite twisty tree, who I'm sure would have a remarkable story to tell if he only spoke English...Soy lattes with cinnamon are one of life's great pleasures I'm sure. And now my pancake arrives...given by this amazing and down to earth chef that the cottage hired semi-recently from the Portland culinary school I think. She's fabulous and her food is incredible. I have no idea how this pancake is made, but it is scrumptious. It isn't heavy, and it's a bit understatingly tart (because of the yogurt) but I swear there's almond paste in it because it tastes like shortbread...but not as rich. And on the top is a HUGE mound of sliced apples and plums with shaved almonds and some sort of very light honey syrup just drippled over a bit. And now I sit with my breakfast and my coffee ready for a very relaxing morning, and soon I will turn off this piece of technology and pull out my favorite of all books and get lost in Anne's world just for a bit...and when I have to renter my own, I will be just a little bit sad, but then there's the remarkable thing about books, I can go back whenever I want...

If only all of my days started just like this, I think I would be a far better teacher, or at least more relaxed...I wonder if there's anyway I could convince the school district to buy me coffee and breakfast every morning, hmmm....maybe there's a grant for serenity of mind or relaxing classrooms sponsored by Anne of Green Gables...what would Miss Stacy do?